Silence the Heart

You ever met someone who you believed was not supposed to be with who they were with at that time. I know it sounds crazy because of free will but just like an instinct as if you know you are supposed to be with this person. I adore him and I hate hiding my feelings cause I am an open book when it comes to love. But now I have to back off, I have to silence my heart though because while this person is with someone else.
I just know he has such high potential he would add a lot to my life but then again maybe time will tell. We will see what happens in the future I believe something big will be happening though in the next couple years....for now silence my heart and won't let her open until this new person comes along.

All Grown Up but still No true Love

I am turning twenty-five tomorrow and I keep thinking about the future and what is coming. Then I keep thinking of the truth how I have not been madly in love with a person who felt exactly the same way as me. I feel like the girl who has everything but does not have that.
I have been in brief relationships the longest four months dating someone. Yet the truth is I am the girl who falls in love with men who are so similar to the men of her past.
I also need to fall in love with a person who genuinely loves me and who I am too. That is so important when it comes to relationships for me. I have never had a true Valentine, or even had my parents and family really fall in love with the man I am dating too. My family is cool they will support me no matter what - just believe a lot of people who know me know the right person will come find me. This person has to have an open mind and intelligence is high for me. Also a sense of confidence, security in himself, not over confident like arrogance but secure in himself and his flaws. I believe the physical will be simple the icing of the cake I need the man willing to accept the crumbs too lol!!!!
I believe I am getting close but now its about timing, schedules, acceptance, and two worlds colliding. Also a man who supports my dream like go baby go hurt either! LOL

So Complex

Why is this so compliated matters of the heart versus morals and ethics? I am in a situation where many women and men find themselves. Yet mine is very unique and different too cause it has many twists also. I am in the beginning stage of my career in media. I am at the stage of finding place in this business and I am enjoying it a lot because I believe I am going to fulfill my destiny and dream very soon. I just need more faith in me and the right tools to continue to get me there. I have a sincere feeling God's plan is about to come to fruition for me very soon. Time is rolling so fast and I am trying to catch up with all that needs to be done before my next chapter begins a new page. This a new chapter moving to new york is a new chapter. Also coming into my mid twenties is kind of a defining moment too. Now I have to step up even more as an adult. I am not feeling fulfilled yet I can do so much more. I am not going to feel fulfilled until everything is done. That is how I am all my goals have to be accomplished until I feel full. I feel emptiness for some reason. I can laugh and smile but I still don't feel complete yet.

On top of that...there is the person in my life I want to know so badly yet people believe I am crossing the line by dating someone in my industry of work. I feel like they should back off and let me handle this I know what I am doing and what risks are involved and the repercussions. I need this person in my corner cause I am joyful and at peace. I feel like he is just going to add so much more to my life if he were in my circle. I don't know what to do yet I need time to prove it all to me that I am not just imagining this but these feelings are real and I need him or if he should not be in my heart and head how do ignore him and move on? If I do the next guy will have to prove himself. Everything is too complex