As Valentine's day approaches I wonder has Chivalry disappeared in 2016?

Has chivalry died in the new millennium? Has decent respect, courtesy, and generosity been replaced by selfishness, forgetfulness, disrespect, and impoliteness. What happened to when men used to open doors for women? Open a car door, an actual door, pull out a chair. I have experienced and seen both sides of it and I can find that a lot of men still need to train their sons. Those women who are raising men on their own should train their sons as well. What happened to a time when there was an admiration and appreciation for women. Now although I didn’t grow up in let’s say the 1950s and 1960s men had a certain quality of respect towards women. It was a different time of course there was more conservatism. Today in 2016, we are way passed being conservative, I get it the current generation we are more open, more liberal, and there is a lot of political correctness that takes place in our society. Even against women I guess some men may feel well she’s got a job, she’s independent, she can open her own damn doors. At the same time my unwise friend you have to remember although she can handle her business in the workplace, take of herself, and provide for her family as well (if married, in a relationship, or with children). She still needs to be appreciated and valued. I have seen some sad faces from women who look disappointed when men don’t take the time just to do a simple act of kindness.

I am going to give you three real life scenarios I witnessed earlier this year it happened literally before my dark brown almond shaped eyes. I will explain what happened and You tell me where was the appreciation or just common courtesy?

Scenario#1-“The Laundromat”

I am at the laundromat and I am washing about 3 large loads of clothes (As many of my readers know I am a busy lady so clothes pile up quickly in my apartment). So I am washing clothes and reading my book as well. I pass the time even when I am washing clothes still multitasking getting ideas for the blog ready, getting clothes ready for the week, you name it, talking on the phone, etc. So a woman ahead of me was getting ready to leave out. She just finished doing about 3-4 loads, mind you also had 3 kids with her a baby, 2 preteens a boy and girl. So they are heading home and then as this man gets ready to leave. He grabs his bags opens the door and leaves the woman standing right there when she is about to leave. I am like really dude come on. You cannot even just open and hold the door until she walks out with her belongings and children? What happened to just a simple act of kindness? I know the men who I have been around wouldn’t do that. If they want to get popped upside the head sure be my guest. Don’t slam a door in front of me or any person for that matter who has things in their hands. It’s just plain rudeness. I know people’s parents raised their children with better sense and politeness than that. How do you feel if someone does the same to you? Upset is usually the normal reaction.

So whoever that man is I hope you will learn the value of decency, courtesy, kindness, and respect towards women. It doesn’t take much but showing her you care says a lot. Actions speak volumes to women never forget it. You can say anything but your actions everything you do for her, to her, with her, and around her family and friends says so much to how you treat her every single day. Also remember someone’s always watching you never know.

Scenario#2-“Stepping in front of a woman”

Okay so I am on the crowded six train in Manhattan on my way to work to Lord & Taylor to start my busy day ahead. Then a gentlemen decides to step in front of me as I am rushing to head upstairs. Now mind you I am a New Yorker I get when people are rushing and you want to push through. However, in this case and situation this was really not cool and I wasn’t too crazy about this actually. It was like something told me no you have to do something about this immediately. You can’t allow this to keep happening not just to you but to other women as well.

So I went ahead I walked right but something told me there’s a pattern here with all of these men consistently showing lack of respect to women and pushing ahead. Is it men feel more entitled to first? Do they feel we should only be treated as second class citizens? What is the problem seriously with lack of respect and common decency? What happened to the men who knew how to value, appreciate, and adore women? I miss those men actually I had a grandfather god rest his soul who spoiled me, and was just the best thing in my life. Without him I wouldn’t have learned about good men like him. He appreciated women and he would open a door or wouldn’t step in front of them or cross them period. It just says a lot and its kind of unfortunate cause there are many good role models out there. They just need to step up and show the younger people what to do.

 

Scenario#3- “Pouring a glass for a woman”

I heard D.J. Self “The Prince of New York” on Power 105.1 talking about how he was supposed to pour a glass for his lady and he neglected to it. It just reminded me how the simple gestures I mentioned before have become ignored now. If he’s a fully grown man you should understand by now this is an act that is simple to do. You have coordination and stability right? If you have it pour your woman a glass of whatever she enjoys drinking. It shows you adore her you don’t want her to lift a single thing when you’re around her at all. I think this situation is simple it’s something you have to instill in little boys early. Do not hit a little girl or woman period, don’t touch her hair, don’t call her out of her name, I believe these gestures are something a man should do from the beginning. This is how you maintain that connection and bond.

                Women have so much on their minds on their plate and just to give them a word of appreciation, makes them feel like their hard work and efforts to you and themselves were not ignored. I have learned the difference of having a man in my life who can be thoughtful, appreciative, vs . a man who is selfish, inconsiderate, and forgetful.  Don’t do that to yourselves gentlemen. Be her “Knight in shining armor” not the “jester” cause you’ll be taken for a joke and she will ignore you right away.

To my beautiful and handsome readers this goes both ways appreciate and love one another while you can. I hope you will continue to treat other in the highest regard and respect. All the best and see you very soon my friends. Hugs and Kisses to All! Your friend, “ Honey Brown Sugar”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smart move gentlemen offer her your coat