The first day of this year started a little rough...I won't lie I wish I could say it was from partying hard and drinking tons of cocktails at a large club with three floors or from dancing all night with unknown men in Manhattan.
It started out rough for me because I realized I didn't have anyone to share this New Year with actually except the television and the millions of people down in Times Square.
Over the holidays I noticed a lot and I kept some things in my heart that I didn't want to release. Lately, I have been trouble with letting my true feelings show cause I have to always be strong and put a brave face on for my friends and family.
Yet this time something kept nagging me I thought about past new years and I have always spent them with a relative or someone close to me.
This time I wanted to share it with New York but some things got a little crazy before that.
I woke up and suddenly started weeping like I had lost my best friend or something. It made me realize that I had to face reality and the fact I am going to have to make some hard choices this year again.
Do I make the sacrifice for my well being and livelihood?
Do I put my dreams on hold again and settle...or what?
I also realized this was the first time I didn't have my girlfriends near me, or anyone for that matter who I can address how I was feeling on the inside.
The last thing I noticed was Handsomeness never asked me to join him, he never asked me to spend time with him. Foolishly I bought a gift cause he means that much to me. Then I realized all the time my instincts were right...they kept telling me don't buy the gift twice...the first time I actually left a the store.
The second time giving into the Christmas spirit I gave in and I bought what he may like anyway.
Now, I have real pain in my heart cause this man who I thought was so special actually made my vision come to life....he made me realize that he is not the one who I want to have a relationship with at all.
I hate it because Handsomeness works with me...yeah I am stuck in a Bridget Jones's Diary movie. Can you believe it? Only this is the black version and with young, twenty-something characters. So now, what do I do...? I am crazy about him and at the same time I loathe him too. To the point I am going to return his gift tomorrow and just move on. Soon enough I will be moving on professionally, personally, spiritually, and I will be in a new place in my life again.
Yet it is hard to do that when you have a lot of people counting on you too.
Well my beloved readers....stay tuned as always there's more to share. Your friend, Honey Brown Sugar
It started out rough for me because I realized I didn't have anyone to share this New Year with actually except the television and the millions of people down in Times Square.
Over the holidays I noticed a lot and I kept some things in my heart that I didn't want to release. Lately, I have been trouble with letting my true feelings show cause I have to always be strong and put a brave face on for my friends and family.
Yet this time something kept nagging me I thought about past new years and I have always spent them with a relative or someone close to me.
This time I wanted to share it with New York but some things got a little crazy before that.
I woke up and suddenly started weeping like I had lost my best friend or something. It made me realize that I had to face reality and the fact I am going to have to make some hard choices this year again.
Do I make the sacrifice for my well being and livelihood?
Do I put my dreams on hold again and settle...or what?
I also realized this was the first time I didn't have my girlfriends near me, or anyone for that matter who I can address how I was feeling on the inside.
The last thing I noticed was Handsomeness never asked me to join him, he never asked me to spend time with him. Foolishly I bought a gift cause he means that much to me. Then I realized all the time my instincts were right...they kept telling me don't buy the gift twice...the first time I actually left a the store.
The second time giving into the Christmas spirit I gave in and I bought what he may like anyway.
Now, I have real pain in my heart cause this man who I thought was so special actually made my vision come to life....he made me realize that he is not the one who I want to have a relationship with at all.
I hate it because Handsomeness works with me...yeah I am stuck in a Bridget Jones's Diary movie. Can you believe it? Only this is the black version and with young, twenty-something characters. So now, what do I do...? I am crazy about him and at the same time I loathe him too. To the point I am going to return his gift tomorrow and just move on. Soon enough I will be moving on professionally, personally, spiritually, and I will be in a new place in my life again.
Yet it is hard to do that when you have a lot of people counting on you too.
Well my beloved readers....stay tuned as always there's more to share. Your friend, Honey Brown Sugar
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