Celebrating all the moms-Mother's Day Week

I thought with Mother’s Day coming up I wanted to discuss some celebrity mothers out there with famous children and also focus on how our relationships between our mothers change when we go from infancy to adulthood. How we began to form a dynamic relationship that changes we are no longer just daughter/son to mom. We often become much more to our parents then they or we even realize until we become adults. This is my tribute to all of the mothers around the world. All of whom I know, will meet in the future, and have learned from as well. 

This was an epic night! I just saw Swizz Beats and Alicia Keys lol...my mom and I at Brooklyn Museum Summer 2015

At National Harbor in Maryland out celebrating all together November 2015

Posing at  Madison Square Garden in New York City my 30th birthday celebration going to see Maxwell and Mary J. Blige in concert 

Spring 1987-10 months old mom and me

Mother's Day 2011

My father, Jewel, my big brother, Daheed, and my paternal grandmother, Ms.Carlene Imogene Dubard November 2011 in Palm Bay, Florida 

My great-great-grandmother Bessie ("Mama Margie's mother) when she was probably in her  late 30s about age 38 in 1944

My great-grandmother, Margie and me one last kiss before I headed home June 2012-her 90th birthday celebration

My gorgeous grandma Shirley during her modeling days when she was about 27 in this picture circa 1967

This is a throwback I love this picture this will probably go in my house one day it's my great-grandmother sitting next to her mother and two ladies out celebrating a summer night this was taken June 1940 right before my grandmother
was born!

The gang my grandmother and my mom were  all together in New York City Fall 2014

My beautiful grandmother, Shirley, my mom, her sister Sandra, my cousin Anton (1 of my 6 first cousins)

My best friend, Marisa (Macaroni's wedding) my mom was there hey she knew the couple lol ! 

Grandma Shirley aka "Miss Shirley" to you... and I partying with her St. Louis Club in Washington, DC 

Mom chillin' in the Hamptons Summer 2015 by this gorgeous Milk and Honey Yacht

Flemings Steakhouse Edgewater, NJ Mothers Day 2009

Grandma Shirley and Me at Sevilla restaurant

Summer 2011-Celebration of MLK at the memorial in Washington, DC

One of my other besties Theresa!!! Both of my girls have taught me how to be a mom. They are my sisters so I know I have good company =) lol! Shout out to my goddaughter, Jayleen and her dad, Jose lol thank you guys for everything  =)

When my bestie became a mom for the first time I was so proud of her and husband, Chris  now she's a mother to two beautiful girls, Adriana, 2 and Alessia, 4 months old Summer 2016

My great-great grandmother, Bessie and my great-grandmother, Margie (1940s)

You wonder why I pose so much...yep it's because of this lady right here!!!!!! My great-grandmother, Margie lol!!!! Foxy mama lol =) love you always

When we are infants our parents are preparing us for the world, teaching us how to crawl, walk, laugh, smile, burp, they play with us, and they focus on making everything for us easier, smoother, and pleasant. We are and become their main focus and they develop a bond because we ultimately need them for everything especially that first year of life. Every day, month, and year is significant we should never take those little moments for granted at all I think when you become a parent. I believe the key is making sure that our child recognizes us right away. I think all parents should definitely bond from the moment with skin-to-skin treatment where your child automatically is placed in your arms for that skin connection and contact. It’s crucial so that your baby(ies) they know immediately that this is their parent and they need to form that bond. It is great psychologically, physically, and emotionally for the mother, father, and child.

When we become toddlers and we began developing our vision abilities, hearing abilities, motor skills, how to form words, and then we begin to call our parents “Mama, Papa, Baba, Dada, Mommy….”all of the nicknames and names we will come to call our parents becomes a momentous occasion and memorable time for parents because they are learning to communicate their feelings, emotions, and thoughts. These little people we have carried for nine-to ten months (40-week) period is so special because now you see how your genetics start playing a major part in the role. How will your babies voice sound, will your baby be strong, loud, shy, rambunctious, or will they be loving, affectionate or more. Those 46 chromosomes that took to make us all the human beings we grow up to be are put to use in our DNA in ways sometimes we are quite surprised and amazed to see in years to come.

I have a niece, two nephews (they are grown now ages Kamani 26, Shania 21, Jaleel , 20) . I remember when my oldest nephew was born how I cradled him in my arms and I was only 7! I loved that moment of being an aunt was significant and special. Then seeing my little cousins as time passed, meeting other little children I played or grew up with, and later down the road when I turned 21 I became a godmother. One of my best friends had her little girl who just happened to be a preemie like me and I instantly fell in love. She was adorable, sweet, fun, sensitive, and one of the little kids who I have adored watching growing up. She’s very special to me because I want to see her succeed and achieve just as one of my family members too. I think at that age of the formative years are crucial.

I had a great childhood over all looking at every moment, every class, school picture, little friendships, and everything I can truthfully say it was a fun, interesting childhood. It forced me to grow up fast too. I think for all children during these years you need to be present, this is the time when you are learning to teach them manners, behaviors that are normal, and healthy. This is the time when your morals and values start kicking in. What is acceptable vs. what is not acceptable for a child. Your mother’s influence comes to you as well the other people in your life. This is who you learn directly from, you learn from your caregivers and nurturers. The people who will guide you and protect you.

Your relationship takes a dramatic shift during your teenage years I remember this was the time when my womanhood and identity was being tested. I was becoming my own person around this time. This is often when societal pressures and expectations start to take an affect when you’re a teenager. Your relationship changes with your mom. My mother and I we began to have arguments sometimes and fights. I am not ashamed to admit it because all relationships are tested. Every relationship you have whether mother-daughter, father-daughter, business, family, co-workers, friendships, girlfriend-boyfriend, husband-wife. You will find a test this is when you learn how to gain integrity, respect, you’re learning what you need to voice your opinion on. Sometimes we have it wrong, sometimes our parents may have it wrong. We may not agree on everything but I believe you have to take a step back because it happen so fast. You often don’t realize what is really happening you’re growing up and your parents are realizing that their baby is no longer a baby anymore. They are changing into another version of themselves. Some people may distance themselves from their parents. They may want to claim more independence and freedom.

I think for me I realized it when we had arguments about dumb things, silly and stupid things. That we needed that time, space, and we needed to give each other room. I needed to reflect on what was really happening those moments. I was growing up and things were happening quickly.   She sent me to stay with my father one time when I was in my teen years. I remember having arguments where I wanted to move and go live with one of my boyfriends at the time. We even had disagreements about other things too. It let me know that sometimes even the people we love we’re not always going to see eye-to-eye on everything in our relationships.

One of my mother’s boyfriends gave me some wise advice when I was 13 he told me something I always live by and respect. He said “Chloe, you are going to need your mother during this time. You need to make sure you hold on to her, spend time with her, do things together go to lunch, go get a pedicure/manicure”. He was right because from the time I was 13 to 19 those years were a time when I needed her for support, guidance, to answer questions tough questions I had about life and about making decisions that would affect my future later. Our bond and is still very tight we became very strong at that time. We took trips to Martha’s Vineyard, The Hamptons, cruise ships, and other places together. Or even times when she wasn’t there she always made sure my friends and I would have a great time, concerts, and other events. I met many of my mother’s friends old , new, and co-workers. So I built a strong bond with my mother during my teenage years that sustained me even now in my thirties.

Adulthood-Oh yes when we have left adolescence and we reach and have arrived at adulthood this is when you appreciate everything your parents have done for you. The sacrifices, the choices, their advice, the celebratory occasions, the hand- holding moments when your parents are there, and everything in between. These are the lessons that you will carry with you into raising and building your own family. You don’t have to be by the book but you take what works for you. Every individual is different has had different experiences, choices, customs, backgrounds, and people who raised them. What matters is that the great things that made you a decent human being.

What makes me want to be a mother even more now. I think growing up around my grandmothers I had my paternal grandmother, Carlene until I was 27 years old. She was a huge part of my upbringing growing up. I also had my great-grandmother until I was 27 as well. My great-grandmother Margie Catherine Wall-Golden-Joplin Gillespie was born June 16, 1922 she worked for the United States Postal Service for 30 plus years, did gardening, volunteered, danced for the YMCA community, raised 5 children: 2 girls, 3 boys, and she passed May 14, 2014 in St. Louis, Missouri and my paternal grandmother, Carlene Imogene Dubard was born September 9, 1928 she attended Touro College, she was a nurse for a senior citizen facility, worked a couple of jobs, raised 3 boys, and she passed on May 18, 2014 in Jacksonville, Florida they passed where they were born and raised actually. My great-grandmother taught me to have confidence that it is ok to be shy. You will gain your confidence over time. She taught me the virtue of patience.  How important family is and why you need them. She taught me far more than that  but those lessons come in handy today.

My grandmother Carlene taught me how important it is to be strong, to make sure your voice is heard, how to work hard, be a hustler, to be tough, how to appreciate great food, beauty, enjoy the finer things in life too.

I thank god for my maternal grandmother, “Miss Shirley” I call her but Shirley Mae Golden-Worthy she’s amazing and continues to amaze us all and has been a huge part of my life as well. I could go on about how her affect still is a big part of me today. How if it weren’t for her in the tough times I wouldn’t know how significant and special it is to have a grandmother even in your adult years. She has 3 children (2 daughters, 1 son), 7 grandchildren (4 boys, 3 girls) and 2 great-grandchildren so she’s been amazing cannot wait to see what else God has in store for her in the future.

When my paternal grandmother and great-grandmother both had their home going it was a huge part of me was affected but I stand by what they taught me, what they blessed me with genetically, and what values they instilled in me. I talk about them often on my blog because they have and still are a special piece of me.  I think after having and seeing how special that time was with the both of them. I think seeing how my friends and family are with their children, and my own relationship with my mother. It has made me want to be a mother even that much more. Your mom is your security blanket there to protect and keep you safe until its time for you to keep you safe. I think my goal for me when I am a mother is to make sure that communication lines are open and that they are genuinely happy. I don’t want them to feel like they can’t discuss certain topics with me. Or they cannot be real or honest with me. I want them to be their own individuals not like me or anyone else but be the best version of themselves. To put God first and to always give back especially when they have been blessed with so much.

 Celebrities and their mothers I have been inspired by their relationship with their children.

I also wanted to discuss some celebrity mothers I have seen a few of my favorite musicians, recording artists, actors/actresses who their bond with their mothers is transcendent you see it when they are on the red carpet, if they take their parents to special occasions and different events. Back in 2001 I once bought my mom a book called “Hollywood Moms” and I think I wrote something about how I wanted us to be like that in case one of us became famous. (I smile writing this because you never know). We have had many encounters with some celebrities so yes I believe dreams come true….I wanted to discuss some of my favorite people and their relationship or advice they learned. How even their business relationship was a crossover into their personal relationship.

Ashanti, Tina, and Shia 

Ashanti (her sister)-her mom, Tina Douglas

Ashanti Douglas hip/hop R&B superstar and her mother or her “momager”, Tina Douglas helped assisted Ashanti in every step of the way from raising her and her younger sister, to when Ashanti decided she wanted a career in entertainment and the music business. She stepped in with a right hook and firm foot to make sure her daughter would be guided and protected along the way. There’s something I admire about their relationship because they have a beautiful balance of professional and personal. They know when to cut and draw the lines. I always wanted a similar balance if I ha decided to my acting career seriously. I was going to have my mother be my manager.

Kate Hudson, Goldie Hawn, and family

Goldie Hawn-Kate Hudson (her siblings) Their relationship is very special to me too because they both happen to be actresses and entertainers. Kate Hudson followed her mother’s footsteps and wanted a career as an actress. She had her first break out role in “Almost Famous” now Kate has learned well on how to balance actress/businesswoman/spokeswoman/ mother of 3 (2 sons and a daughter).

Solange, Beyonce, Celestina "Tina" Lawson 

Beyonce/Solange – Celestina “Tina” Knowles-Now come on Beyhive you know I couldn’t forget this famous mama she’s been instrumental in assisting Beyonce since she first started doing performance competitions when she was a little girl, assisting, sketching, designing every costume for both Beyonce and her younger sister, Solange when it comes to their busy lives and careers. Tina Knowles knows how to multitask and get things done. She’s instilled that business savvy with both of her daughters. She has a beauty/hair salon that she worked on and then also kept and made time to design clothing in her spare time for Beyonce’s group, Destiny’s Child and came up with her own clothing line. They even collaborated with their Dereon clothing line as well which did very well. She’s been amazing and continues to surprise us as well. Now we know where Beyonce gets it from when the surprises come out with albums and other projects. Her mother has become an example and the epitome of grace, class, and strength. She not only makes sure she’s an influence to her daughters, her 4 grandchildren: Juelz, Blue Ivy, Sir, and Rumi . She makes sure to be an example to other females and males in all different communities.

Trey Songz, his mother April, and his brother 

Trey Songz (his brothers)-his mom –Okay I am bias lol! I have a huge crush on him and I know he has a great relationship with his mother because of how he discusses her in interviews and even his songs he sings about her in a few of his successful albums. You sense and get that they have a strong connection and closeness. It’s important as a young male, an African -American man that he has that bond with his mother and connection. There’s something very special about the first woman, the first “girl” he falls in love with is his mother. So remember that ladies when you have sons. You want to make an impression a positive impression on your sons because when he becomes a teenager and young man. You see the impact on him when he gets older. He was raised by both his grandmother and his mother. So how about that now you see why he appreciates a good woman when he sees one.

Angie Martinez-mom- She’s one of my favorite dee-jays I have grown up literally listening to her on WQHTHot 97  many of you know my mother worked at the station in the marketing/promotion/sales department. This station always has a special place in my heart. 

Angie Martinez and her mother 

(I love you Angie! Lol) and now that she has moved on to Power 105.1 she is still breaking records, expands the role that I am not just a female radio broadcaster behind the microphone. I can wear other hats too. Angie’s story always touched me I have learned over the years how her mother was in the radio business as well. She broke into the business and got her start as well interning and assisting. Always felt I could relate with that because I started interning when I was about 17 for a station as well. Angie’s career though she wears many different hats so you don’t just see her as a radio broadcaster or deejay. She has had successful hit songs, a  New York Times best seller, she has one of the top radio shows, she’s been in films, she’s an author of a cookbook, and continues to expand her brand. She’s been influential in all different communities. So that’s one thing a lot of these people have in common. You see how their parents influence and careers sometimes can make your child or children see their own potential too.

Sean “P.Diddy/Brother Love/Puff Daddy”Combs and

Sean "P.Diddy/Puff Daddy/Brother Love Combs and his mother, Ms. Janice Combs 

Puffy and the kids 

his mom

Sean “P.Diddy” Combs he has many monikers and nicknames over his 30 year career he’s been a hustler from day one and definitely got it from his parents. His mother became a single mother early after Sean lost his father in a tragic accident when he was younger and his mother became a soldier stepping in to raise his sister and him. I saw recent photos of Sean and his mother, Janice Combs on the May 2019 Essence issue really touched my heart because he bowed down to his mother. I was touched by that for a man who has been through a rollercoaster ride and never wants to stop he is extremely driven and tenacious. He needs someone strong, confident, real, honest, and open behind him. Behind every strong man is a strong woman and sometimes your mother might just be the one to keep you in check and stand firmly by your side too.

Now to every celebrity or non-celebrity average Joe or Jane (just like me )out there it doesn’t matter you all are unique, special, different in each of your own way. You cannot be duplicated at all you are an original person with talent, intelligence, gifts, hearts, souls, voices, and so much to offer the world. I hope all of you will have a very special mother’s day whether if you are a new mother, foster mother, mother who adopted children, stepmother, aunt, sister, or cousin. If you are raising a child on your own especially know that you are capable and can raise a child by yourself if you feel the need to as well. So to all of the mothers out there God bless, keep doing an incredible job because remember something God gives us these special gifts for a reason from the moment we make and decide to raise these children. They are truly the gift that keeps giving to the universe. Without them we cannot move forward or progress in society. That’s what makes becoming a mother so special you are influencing society and the future. Happy Mother’s Day! to all of my family members, friends, their moms, and yours Enjoy. All the best Kisses, Hugs, Bacios, and Besos to you and yours =)