Once upon a time....5 years ago, summer of 2017 I decided to take love classes, yes, I went to love school there is a thing as love classes. It’s when you listen, watch, and study positive relationships to see how your relationship with yourself, your potential future mate, your family relationships, and friendships change or need to change all around you. How you need to work on or develop different skills to make yourself, your partners, family, and friendships stronger. I found 5 couples on YouTube I loved and I have spoken them about them before on my blog. Some of YouTube's breakout stars, The Caseys, The Grimwades, the Lokkos, the Ellises, and the Edwards. They really did open up my views on relationships, marriage, growing, changing, and more. I have seen all of these couples have been blowing up and it’s amazing to watch.
I think for me I realized there was something happening in my personal relationships that was affecting me from getting to the next or a higher positive level in my relationships. I have been dating since I was 16 years old, I didn’t really start getting into more serious relationships I would say until around 23 I knew I wanted something more serious back then. I have dated multiple people and I have been through many different dating experiences. I have also met people online dating too, and I have done speed dating (when’s the last time people have done that in person it's been a while for us?). I split one of my long-time boyfriends in February 2017 after a break-up with one of my exes after 1 year and a half in a relationship. It was lack of communication, him not being open, more honest about his feelings, and vulnerable with personal things in his life. He decided to just end things abruptly.
We were long distanced and then a year later he came back to New York to live here too. We split but we reunited a few years later and have decided to remain very good friends for now. We got back together in 2021 but I realized he wants to put a timestamp and a time frame on having children and I am someone who wants a family now and commitment (He kept saying "2 years...2 years again" for me just seemed unrealistic cause when you know you're ready you know. I realized I needed to look at every aspect of this person and people I have dated too. To really look at who could be a long-term partner too.
So long story short the first time we split I dug deep within myself really deep my intuition told me you need positive influences. I have had some positive examples to look at with my parents when they were together, my mother and my stepfather, my closest friends who are all in long-term relationships and marriage. So I had positive examples. I needed to surround myself with positive people and positive relationships. As a single woman who has never been married or does not have children yet it feels great to have people around me whether virtual or in person who are positive and helpful. It gives aspiring singles, those dating, in relationships, and more a sense of hope and positivity You can survive anything and everything with the right person by your side. So thankful for these two and the other 10 couples I have been watching behind the scenes.
I needed to get it into my psyche you need healthy relationships to get you to a healthy, long-term, intimate, and happy relationship too. So I realized let’s look around at all relationships…“Ok Chloe, look at positive relationships, black relationships, interracial relationships, people of all lifestyles, and backgrounds. What are they doing? What was I not doing? What makes me feel secure in my relationships and made me feel like I needed to get it blossoming, growing, and changing. I took notes, mental notes, and even wrote down things too.
I looked to these couples and 5 years later I can say I know I should get some kind of love certificate because I feel like I am in such a better, positive place now when it comes to the hope and future for close relationships, my family, friendships, and the future in my own personal life. I have watched podcasts, vlogs, videos, and more from my favorite couples. They are all blossoming, flourishing out they are changing people’s lives and inspiring them to better in their own relationships too. One of the couples as I mentioned was the Casey Crew. I admire them 26 years of being in a friendship, relationship, they met as teenagers in high school around 15 and 16. Gia and Raashaun first met and were easily captivated by each other a long time ago and have developed into a power couple. Most of millennials and generation-X and Y, Z will know Raashaun aka “DJ Envy” from “The Breakfast Club”.
I listen to their podcasts frequently and they are probably one of my top 10 podcasts I feel like an extra member of their growing family and millions of followers. Here are a few things I learned from all of these amazing couples and people…
1. There is no perfect relationship….everyone especially the longer you are together. The longer you will experience situations where issues will arise. There will be some tests that will come out of left field and out of the blue. You have to stay united together as a couple with trust, honesty, transparency, loyalty, and need to know the truth when lies may come into play too. There is no perfect way on how to meet someone. You can meet your mate at a restaurant, store, church, post office, down the street, at a meeting, online, school, wherever God places you. He or She will come into your life. If you’re lucky you can meet your potential wife or husband as babies, children, high school, or college. It’s all designed by God I believe and if you believe in love and that person. You both will work it out and will allow your religious and spiritual faith to be the center of your relationship from outside noise and distractions. You will ultimately will fight for your love.
2. Keep God and your faith at the center of your relationships and potential marriage. If God brought you two together on purpose he will make sure that the two of you will come out on top of the situation together collectively. He will make sure that no matter what the issue or problem may be there will be a solution fit for that couple if that is what they both want and need to get to the next level in their relationship.
3. Lean on your support system. Sometimes you will be surprised the people rooting for you will push to make sure you both stay together. I say definitely rely on the people who know you best and know your partners the best too. They will have your back. I remember listening to one of their podcasts where they were discussing a major issue that came up in their marriage. They separated but then mentioned how their support system their closest friends pushed and pushed for them to reunite. They both sought out not only support from friends and family. They also leaned on outside support with counseling and help. We often do not see things in ourselves or partners may be missing. We might get a little “tunnel vision” when we are in love and enamored by our partners. So, it is always helpful and essential for people to go to a third-party to say “I need you to take a look at our relationship/ marriage we need help”.
4. Vacation together the family that vacations together aside from praying stays together. I have done many family trips with my parents and extended family and friends. I think this is something that should be reinforced in your family. Those dinners, breakfasts, meals together at night whether you do a cruise together, go to Disneyland, Disney world, Six Flags, and other places around the globe. Everyone can still have their own space and still enjoy family time at night or morning. I think those trips left a big impact on me and my family still today. To see the world and other opportunities. So, I would say they reinforced that to me how important we need those trips from time to time together to reconnect. To remember what binds us and keeps us loving each other too.
5. Self-Love is necessary in order to be present for your significant other I learned this from them when they talk about finances preparation for the future, the presentation of yourself, speaking up about what you want for yourself in all areas of the relationship. Self-Love, self-care is important it rolls over into other parts of your relationships and friendships too. You see it with the Caseys and hear it with them. They look out for each other as individuals and as a couple too. Always making sure you are ok with you first that includes your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. You need to make sure that you are your best if you want to be present and there for others too.
6. Forgiveness whatever the issue may be in your relationship or marriage is that one thing we all probably ride the fence on when it comes to a small or major problem. I admire Gia Casey’s strength and forgiveness when it comes to her husband and children. You hear them sharing stories of their teen years, their 20s, when they first got married and even stories today now with their 6 children. That they truly have learned every level of forgiveness, how to stay committed to one another, and make sure their family got stronger, tougher, more united together. They leaned on their support system to get through tough times to both learn how to forgive one another.
Now with a few of a little tools I learned from them. I hope you will take notes and will be reading
Their new book,
“Life Lessons: Real Life, Real Love Life Lessons on Joy, Pain, and the Magic that holds us together” by Raashaun “DJ Envy” and Gia Casey will be out this spring on April 19, 2022 which will be in honor of them celebrating their 21st wedding anniversary in May. I think this is a great read for everyone who is just starting out with dating, in serious relationships, and newlyweds. Also look out for live events from the Caseys you will see them back in action with special guests from all over hosting events.
Follow the Casey Crew on
http://www.apple.com on the Podcasts section,
www.YouTube.com, and
www.iheartradio.com
