"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.”
― Johnny Depp
It hurts a lot when you're not with these people all you want to do is share your life with them, be with them, spend time with them, even when you're doing the most simplest thing. I am trying to move forward but part of my heart and head is like "You know damn well you still aren't over this completely". Part of me I try to tell myself there is more, there's more to consider. You have to get back to dating again yes. I am....slowly I am like that caterpillar in the cocoon slowly wanting to come out and transform into the butterfly. Or a beautiful building being created but there's just a blueprint. Believe me I am going to get there but it's a matter of being honest with yourself. I cannot deny when I am away from this person yes I can move on and move forward but at the same time. I still need this person. Apart of me always knows in the back of my mind I still do want this person too. I mean we will see......I know I want more I deserve more. Yet you cannot deny yourself you can't deny how you feel either.
Now some may believe and think oh she's just being greedy, well mind you here's the full story one of these people I did date actually however long it may have been is between us, we had a common bond, and I believe we did care about one another very deeply. I believe with time, maturity, and once we are in a great place financially and have come into our own even more as adults that we could possibly be together one day. The second person I never really was in a long-term relationship with we have known each other for years, our families go way back, we went out on a date once, something may have happened, but I know when I see him I still feel like the little girl I used to be sometimes, wanting to look great for him, getting super excited to see him, and I know I would be totally comfortable with him completely. Either one of them I would be totally comfortable with actually. Now who am I talking about "Handsomeness" and "Soulful Songbird". "Handsomeness" I have known him for a couple years now and "Soulful Songbird" I have known him for 2 decades. I believe they will always be two of the people I may feel the most comfortable with not only that but who also have probably meant the most to me over the years. When it comes to the love and relationships department. It made me raise the question can you have two loves in your life?
Sometimes I do have to remind myself what about the future? What about the next person you meet. Yes that doesn't seem fair to the next man right. I know what some of my readers are probably wondering. That won't be fair to him because he will never know what those two other people did, or why they mean that much to you either. Yet at the same time it's something that I cannot hold in though. That's how I feel inside, I told my readers not only would I share the news, fashion, movies, and whatever else. I told you I would share the truth about my life, my thoughts, and what is dear to me with all of you.
No it won't be fair to the next person who enters my life but he will have to know just like with every human being you come with a past, with people who you loved or cared about before you two became an item, that's called experience. That's called knowing who you are, and also knowing what you want as well. It's not like I only cared about these two people in my life no.....I did date other people but what I meant is the gentlemen who tug at my heart strings the most. The two who I believe I will always care for no matter what. So I wonder is it just my feelings for them will never go away or is it just they will just be apart of me and that's the reality of the situation? I wish you all could tell me do you have more than one love in your life?
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