Hello my fabulous handsome and
beautiful readers! I have missed you all very much but you’re all the thousands
of you always on my mind. I always have to thank you who have been reading and
following my blog for the past 10 years has been such a huge gift not just for
me but for every single person who I have discussed and shared a piece of their
life, their story, promoted anything that I believe is worth sharing for everyone
to learn, be informed, and stay current on what’s happening with all of us. I
am still celebrating the 10th anniversary because truthfully I
really cannot believe I have had this blog for such a long time. It has become
a huge part of my life now. So I want to continue with it as much as I can.
I told you all I would discuss many
more adult topics. The blog has grown up with me and now that we are entering a
new phase of life, some very new chapters, and also a new year very soon. I
wanted to talk about more topics that apply more to my adult audience too. It
does not mean I have forgotten the kids, the college kids, or teens. I just
wanted to make sure I cover my generation and other age groups too.
So let’s talk about marriage. I am going to do a two part chapter to this topic. How it affects the economy....Now we all know how marriage is a beautiful thing it’s about a union of two people who protest
their love, faith, commitment aloud, proudly, and loudly to their families,
friends, coworkers, community, and those who are apart of their lives. I still
believe in marriage and commitment especially in 2018. I wrote on one of my
last blog posts, “Five Families of You Tube” which featured five couples who
are all millennials and have started their families and are raising children
currently in this second decade of the 21st century. I believe just like
everything it evolves, it becomes more detailed, intricate, we learn more from
it, and we find ways for everything to become more convenient and better for
all of us. I believe marriage in
our society has gone through several phases. There was a phase where people
didn’t believe it in they were against it. They decided “well I will just focus
on my career and work success first”, then there was a phase where people
insisted on it happening immediately as a necessity, and then there was a phase
where people thought it was becoming obsolete. I thought to myself wait a
minute how can marriage that ultimately promotes love, happiness, joy, and
celebration become obsolete and fade away? How does that happen today? It’s about families coming together to
unite, you receive more family members, more friends, and you share it with the
person you love and will cherish the most. How amazing and beautiful is that?
So I thought ok let’s dig deeper then it hit me recently. I have several
friends who I have grown up with I have talked about them on my blog too. Many
of my friends are married, raising children now, and are planning to marry in
the future very soon. I have watched them all grow up along with me and find
love. It’s been a great thing to witness, but for some people it didn’t come
that easy. There were other factors that played a part in their lives too. I
realized why were people finding it to be obsolete…it was a simple five letter
word M-O-N-E-Y. It’s sad but so true that money became a huge factor when
wanting to start a commitment and family.
People have been asking me a lot
lately especially now that I have hit 32 years old…”Do you have children?”, “Do
you want to be married?” “Yes and Yes “ Of course I do I always wanted children I wanted a big family. I used to dress my
cabbage patch up, my Barbie dolls, stuffed animals, and always wanted to have
babies. I always wanted marriage not because of the wedding but because I knew
I wanted a partner not just a lover also a person who was going to unite with
me as my teammate. The person I would share my whole life and journey with
along the way. I realized that
thousands of young women in their twenties and thirties want the same thing as
well but don’t run down the aisle of the church that quickly because of
finances. It’s a bit sad and makes you cringe that you have to hear that your
friend, sister, niece, cousin, coworker can’t marry because of finances. It’s
not about the wedding…you have to hear me it’s the engagement, the engagement
party, the bridal shower, the bachelor/the bachelorette party, the wedding
ceremony, and the reception. It’s the lifelong commitment of a lease to an
apartment, a mortgage to a home, raising your children, paying their tuition
for preschool through college, and also adding your own personal financial debt
too. It’s about uniting family traditions, customs, memories, and building a
family that will come together. That’s what it is ultimately about. However you
want to use your brain, your heart, and spirit when it comes to this choice.
You want to know you’re making the right decision that will give you the
greatest joy.
I also realized life
experience-education, life experience, age, and other commitments played a big
part of me not wanting to marry right away I believe. I am glad I did not marry
at 20 or 25. I was not ready….I thought I was back then but looking back on it.
I see that I needed molding, shaping, and I needed more spiritual guidance,
more assistance with understanding myself as a young woman, a human being, and
who I wanted to be in the long run. I was also enjoying my life…I was in
college from (age 17-age 23 from August 2004- June 2010) when you see those
numbers in the moment they seem so simple but you realize how young you really
were and that those were some of the best years of your life. I would have been
so selfish, not present. I would have been a great mom but I would have wanted
to have my time to myself back then too. I would have wanted more time to
travel too. I am glad I didn’t take that journey so fast.
You needed to grow, you needed to
find yourself, you need education at that age. I have no regrets at all for
taking my time to date, travel, explore, meet people, find the woman I wanted
to be and how I wanted to mold and represent myself in society and in the
world. A 17-year old teenage girl would have to grow up quickly too fast. She
would take on way too much responsibility when she should be out enjoying her
life. I think it’s smart that some people waited longer because you can build.
You can figure out how to become financially responsible-how to earn credit,
how to pay for your home, your car, take care of your house, the maintenance,
maintaining your car, how do you want to raise your family….will they be
vegan?, will they eat meat, will they follow the Catholic faith, Protestant, or
Muslim faith, you know these are questions that cross your mind when you think
of marriage, marrying someone who may be a different religion, ethnic
background, racial background, and political background too. What kind of lifestyle will you both
have and how will it transition down to the children too. I thought about all
of those factors. I am glad I took my time….I think God knew she needs a couple
of tweaks and edges smoothed first. She needs to know who she really is
completely first. I hope people will ask themselves those questions too. You
want to know who am I marrying and what am I marrying and getting myself into
too.
My parents were married for 10
years together 17 years. They were very young my mother was 23 and my father
was 29. They knew each other love very much, knew each other very well and had
many similarities. They were both raised by single mothers, that both each had
3 children in their families, they were both middle children, and they were
raised in the Catholic faith. They also loved similar activities watching
basketball, throwing parties, going to concerts, traveling, and they loved
kids. So I think with their marriage and union for them at that time. It was a
match in God’s eyes I believe were many benefits came out it.
That’s what I think people need to
focus on are the benefits that make you better not just the finances because
keep in perspective the wedding day remember it is one day. The marriage that’s
the long-term commitment. It’s that real contract and life contract where you
want to make sure you know what and who you are investing and building with
down the road. I believe in trust, I believe in loyalty, and I also believe you
must marry for love. There should not be a doubt in your mind when you say
“Yes….I do….Yes I will marry you”. I think you ultimately have to accept their
flaws and who they are too. It’s
all about knowing what you need too. I am happy 10 years ago I didn’t jump so
fast and say….”Let’s go!”. Now that I have seen the world, I have traveled
more, and have had a chance to know who I am. I know what I need and what I
would desire in a partner too.
Now let’s also discuss a few other
factors…societal pressure, I am sure many of you have seen “Say Yes to the
dress”, “Bridezillas”, “Four Weddings”, “Married at First Sight” all of these
shows have covered different topics and shown us what and what not to do when
it comes to preparation for marriage and what we can find when trusting a
different source when it comes to walking down the aisle too. I love that I
have had a chance to view these shows because it gives you a lot of perspective
on what is required and what’s important for marriage, a partnership, and
commitment too. You don’t need society to pressure you into it. You need to
know if this is best for you.
For me I cannot wait for the next chapter
to start but in the mean time I am grateful for all of the life lessons that
have prepared me thoroughly. So whether if you walk down the aisle and take
that step in your twenties, thirties, or whenever you choose. You should take
it when you’re ready, you want that commitment, you’re in it for the long haul,
and you truly love the person as well.
Come back and read part two I am going to discuss how marriage impacts the economy and it affects businesses. So it's not just about love....it's about thriving new companies and major corporations and how they can impact small and larger weddings too. See why it's important to find the right one. Lol =)
No comments:
Post a Comment