Monday, September 10, 2012

A new beginning a new chapter


I chose a butterfly because butterflies are the symbol of transformation, rejuvenation, and a new beginning...shedding the old and beginning again new.

After everything that has happened this year I feel like a new beginning is emerging finally again. I will be taking another new path again because I know in my heart this is probably what is best for me in order for me to live the life I am supposed to live comfortably and afford everything I will need for my future children, my future husband, etc. I always just wanted to be married with my kids and have this big loving, happy, excited, and somewhat dysfunctional family. 

I know my parents will be great grandparents and my family will be nothing but doting, loving, and giving each child what they need to succeed. As for now, I know this isn't going to be easy, nothing ever is at all. But I know deep down, my friends, and family who have been part of my life will thank me and will be very pleased that for once I made the right decision. I looked out for me. 

I weighed the pros and cons of everything I looked at what I would lose, what I would gain, and what I would keep with me forever. I would lose some new opportunities but I would gain strength, confidence, freedom, and a chance to go on and use my own ideas and creativity somewhere else and put it all to use. I would keep the experiences and memories that I will cherish forever and put to use what I learned every single day...the many lessons I learned on this job and within this industry. 

I will also gain...a chance and dream of mine to finally come true and will be apart of me for a long time. I get the chance to go back to school, right my wrongs, I have a new perspective completely, don't take anything for granted, from the moment you wake up, to the moment you exhale, you breathe, you eat, you laugh, you hug, you kiss, whatever it may be. A lot has really been inside of me for a long time and now I can accomplish the dreams after I go back to college. I know in my heart the best chapter of my life is getting ready to come up. There have been bumpy roads ahead of my journey, in my life, a lot of struggles, tears shed, loss, and pain. However, one thing I know deep down a new beautiful beginning is coming ahead I know this through faith, my instincts, and lol...some psychic research... my future is bright I just need to trust myself now. I need to believe in my spirit and soul that everything will be 100 percent all right now. I will be great and in a beautiful happy place. I am not saying everything will be magically perfect what I mean is I get to do the things I always wanted to do now that I am taking a new path. I can live on campus one day, I join a sorority, I can experience what its like really living on campus with crazy males and females....who will also be incredibly articulate, smart, educated,and I am sure families who are a lot like mine too. This is going to be a great fit I believe...my guardian angels are looking down on me I know it, my family believes in me which is all I need, and I don't need anyone else to validate that. Just need Chloe to know...I can move forward and I can accomplish my dream. 

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